Squirrel

                Dahilan. Isang salitang problema ng maraming tao pero di nila alam. Isang salitang gasgas na sa pandinig pero di naiintindihan. Isang salitang medaling unawain pero mahitap hanapin. Isang salitang nakapagbabago ng buhay. Dahilan. Rason. Purpose.

                Purpose is needed in life. May mga nagpapakamatay ng dahil sa nawalan ng dahilan para mabuhay. Iniwan ni Girlie si Boyet. Nakipagbreak ang “buhay” niya. Humanap si Boyet ng tualy. Doon tumalon,patay. Ibinagsak ni Prof si Running for Cumlaude. Nasira ang records ng grade. Naghanap ng lubid, itinali sa matibay na kahoy sa kisame, isinukbit sa ulo. Bigti. Patay. Naghiwalay si Mama at Papa. Ang anak? Naghanap ng pagtatapunan ng buhay. Ayon. Salot sa lipunan. Masyado nang maraming problema ng dahil sa dahilan. Dadagdag ka? Ikaw? Anong dahilan mo? Bat ka buhay? Para makapag-aral pagkatapos ay grumadweyt? Magkatrabaho pagkatapos ay magkapamilya? Then? Mamuhay ng masaya? After? Wala na? Ganon na lang yon? …And that’s the story of a boring life. The end J

                Everything has its purpose. And that purpose is for the grander you. Now, what’s your purpose? Kitams. Mahirap isipin. Mahirap galugarin ang kaibuturan ng isip just to find the reason of our existence. Actually we don’t think about that much. Ni hindi ka  na nga siguro tumigil sa pagbabasa para isipi kung ano nga ba ang dahilan bakit ka nabuhay. Dahil nga siguro sa mahirap isipin. We give up and eventually forget all about it. We go on, and do what makes us happy. We go on what we think is best, on what we think will make us happy. But happiness is not the sole factor of our existence; it’s the fruit of knowing our purpose. Hindi ibig sabihin na masaya ka sa isang bagay ay para sa’yo na. hindi ka bata na kapag nasayahan sa nilalaro at nagustuhan, aangkinin na.

                Minsan, dahil sa tawag ng mga pangyayari sa buhay natin, napipilitan tayong magsettle nalang sa mga “pwede na”. we think it’s the best, but it’s not. Masaya ka sa boyfriend mo, pero ayaw ng pamilya mo. Maniwala ka, hindi siya para sa’yo. Hindi lahat ng masarap, masustansiya. Hindi lahat ng masaya,tama. Hindi lahat ng nagpapasaya ay maaring sabihing dahilan para mabuhay. Bonus lang yon. Hindi dahilan ang family gathering a gifts kung bakit may Christmas. Christmas kasi kaya may family gatherings at gifts. Gets?

                “There’s gotta be more to life than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me” sabi ni Stacie Orrico sa song niyan More to Life. There truly is more to life. We can’t find our purpose in ourselves. There’s Someone Greater who knows what’s better for us. Sa mga bagong bagay, kailangan natin ang manual. Doon malalaman kung ano ang mga functions ng bawat buttons at parts ng appliance nab ago. Same with us. San pa ba natin malalamankung ano ang dahilan ng existence natin? Malalaman mo yan. Think deeper. Di mo kailangan magsimba. Kailangan mo mag-isip at magbukas ng isip sa mga bagay-bagay. Matalino ka. Alam mo yan. Pero bakit nga ba dapat malaman kung ano dahilan mo sa buhay? Matalino ka. Malamang kasi mas madali ang buhay. Hindi mo na kailangan mangapa sa mga gusto mo. Di mo na kailangan maglagalag para lang mabuhay ng masaya. Di mo na din hahayaan pa madiktahan ng kung anoang dapat gawin. Alam mo na sa sarili modahil alam mo na ang dahilan mo.

                At kung magtatanong kayo kung bakit squirrel, may malalalim na dahilan. Di madaling intindihin. 

what am i doing in this time and hour?

what am i doing in this hour? i'm spazzing :D hahah . grabe. ang tindi ng tama ko. ngayong oras na to. puro singkit nakikita ko sa screen ng monitor. B-A-R-O. I'm stalking Baro. HAHAHA. Wae? Because I sooooooooo like him! Waaaaah! Ottoke! :D

After ng Hello Baby Season, hindi ko pa din tapos ang MTV Selca Diary nila. Match up naman ngayon :D

Pero parati nila akong pinapaiyak kapag pinapanood ko yung last episode ng Hello Baby. Sobrang heartbreaking lang yung scene na yon. nakakapanibagong umiiyak sila kahit na ang gugulo at kukulit nila everytime may filming sila.


Ito. Ito ang nagpapapuyat sa akin

Lord, there are people who are hurting, people who need my love, people who need my encouragement all around me. Let me use my talents and my gifts to bless them.


In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

Supposedly...

Supposedly, we will perform at my school's acquaintance party. Saturday. Night. Sunday kinabukasan. We all have our commitments sa church. I'll teach Sunday School for the Youth, They're at the praise and worship. It was anticipated. Hinugot ko pa si Ammiel at si Kamkam para don. But it turned out to be a frustration.
We got invited by Dani to perform. Prepared for it for almost a week and a half. Though yes we were so excited for it. Ginusto namin yon. We even had the practice finish early just for us to be at school earlier.

Lined up:
-What Faith can do - Kutless but then changed to
-Call to Arms by Urbandub
-Titanium by David Guetta
-How He Loves by Flyleaf

We're ready, Everybody anticipated for it too. I don't know why but it just didn't work. We thought we're on the list who will perform. Dani said so, too. He assured it to us. But our turn's finished. No name from us was called. I got frustrated. Sobrang dami na ng hassle na nangyari samin, hindi pala kami kasama sa mga magpeperform. Inaantok na kami. Gusto na magpahinga at may Sunday service pa kinabukasan. Gusto ko na umuwi, pero ayaw ni Dani. Kaya ipinilit niyang tumugtog kami. Kahit isang kanta lang. How He Loves. Ayun ay dahil gamay na namin yon.


The thought of all the hassles bugged me. Bakit? I know it's against His will na magperform kami. But He still allowed. I thought deeper. I reflect why. What's wrong? I know. It's me. I got so blinded by the flashing lights. Self Righteousness. I got self-righteous. I believe, I was about to take the glory if we're to perform. Taking the glory. I have a tendency for that. And I'm rebuked. Haaaaay. Thank You, Lord. Sa susunod nalang po kapag hindi na ako mayabang. Yung kapag ang lahat ng gagawin ko ay para Sa'Yo at hindi para makilala ako ng mga tao.

there came a text, "Please be reminded of the staff interview for the school publication."

is this it? does this mean that I should gather up my freaking mind again? Gather up. Yes, I believe wonderful thoughts wander off. It's now time to unleash the weirdest in me. It's time to share what has to be shared. May this be what I told God it is for. May this be for His glory.

Rats and Rodents.

I don't know why I hate rodents actually. Ever since, I have this icky feeling whenever they're near. I don't want to see one, I don't want to encounter one. I just don't like rodents. Even rabbits or hamsters. Any kind of rodents. Eew! Yuck!
When we were still in our old house, Kuya played a trick with me. While I was in our kitchen getting something to drink, he threw a camote at me shouting, "Dang, daga!" I panicked thinking it was really a rat. I cried a lot. Of course I got frightened while he's laughing his heart out. Because of that incident, they would always pull trick on me. Another one is, when we are fixing our other house. Because it was unhabited for many years, unlikable creatures were there. Mouses. Cockroaches. In short, PESTS! We were there to clean up but it turned out bad. Since, papa managed to get rid of the lives of those pests, it was Kuya and Ammiel's turn to get rid of their bodies. Dead Bodies. They knew I don't like those pests even if it's not breathing or dead already but they would sway the bodies of those pests in front of me. the worst is, they would even try to throw it at me. GROSS! That was long until they saw tears coming out of my eyes. they always do that.
Sometimes, our cats would catch mice and leave the struggling-for-life mice there where they got tired of playing at them. On the following day, they (mama or anyone in the house) would find the body and let me find it before burying. Another is, I went to Mama's school and paved my way through Subic Wet And Dry market. As I was walking, a rat as big as cat crossed my way. I got so terrified I never went that way again.  Just recently, while I was washing the dishes that evening I saw a mice ran that made me scream. So mama asked what it is and I said it's a mice. My younger siblings heard my answer and plotted to scare me off again. They threw things that would seem like a mouse. they know I cant leave my post, I wasn't finished with the dishes yet. I got bullied by my younger siblings right there and then. They're laughing while I'm terrified.


I don't like Rats and rodents and any kind. When I will have my own house, I will make sure there will be no rats and any kind in there. I will not allow.

Just when I had the chance to watch where no one will scold me and would sneak on what I'm doing, I don't have the feelings to watch it. What's happening?

command responsibility

As I was studying the text, I've encountered "The Father of Sin: Adam". The sinful nature came from Adam. But then, curiosity came out and asked Papa about it. 

"Why is it that Adam got to be blamed even if it was really Eve who sinned? She's the one who picked and ate the fruit first.She's the one who fell for the scheme. How come it's Adam?"

"Command Responsibility. It's Adam's responsibility to take care of everything going on in the garden. So it's Adam's responsibility to get the blame.He's the man. He gets he blame."

Command Responsibility.The one superior gets the blame whatever happens. 

So because Adam is the man and the superior over Eve, he gets the blame that up till now he's the one blaming for the condemnation of man. My thoughts to become somehow a man ended. I finally and absolutely don't want to become a man. Reality, I have thoughts that I should be a man. I would like to become a boy somehow. But, no matter what and whenever I weight things between becoming a man or a woman, I say I still would want and still would want to wear flat shoes and high-heeled shoes than sneakers and rubber shoes. I couldn't figure myself becoming like Charice Pempengco. NEVER! ELK! YUCK! UGH! 

Adding what I had learned from that command responsibility, I'm glad I'm a girl! :D

Missing Brother

Last Thursday, he left.He left nothing, not even a word, not even a goodbye. Although knowing where he will go and what might happen and what to expect when he came back, still, sadness took place. I still would want to spend the craziest things with him. The random flushes of weirdness, and the late night strolls. The talks, the laughters, the sudden 'asaran' and the sharing of random ideas and thoughts. It will took a very long  while before doing all of that again.

Those times when we will go to Olongapo to watch gigs and concerts. He never missed Iyeng's recognition ceremony. He will always be available when we will say "let's go to Gapo" then we'll come home in the middle of the night even though we're not sure if we'll still have a ride home. His constant check on my tempo when I'm on my drums practice.He's always at my side.

He will always be missed.

I'm glad about his decision. I've prepared myself of not seeing him every single day and the fact that he will not be at my side anymore. I've accepted that. I've accepted that he will not be with me in every 'gala' and in every fun moments we'll create. I know it's the fruits of his faith. I'm happy he's growing and I'm looking forward for his stories same as mine when I'm in there.


Soon, he'll experience something bigger and grander. I'm looking forward of seeing him as a more matured man. I love him. He will always be our Bunso Sakto, eventhough he'd outgrown me.

Though I will surely miss our randomness. 

Bed Moving

          Finally, she moved bed. I can't say it's 'my' room anymore. Bunso's sleeping in my room now, no, it's our room already. It's a bit of a mixed emotions really. Although yes, we always tease her to move bed since she's sleeping between Mama and Papa in their room. She's growing fast and she's squeezing herself there. Mama and Papa's complaining they're getting crowded. It's fine for me. I mean, I'm glad she finally had the courage to sleep alone on a bed. She tried once and woke at the middle of the night and squeezed herself between Mama and Papa, again.

            We have double-decked bed in our room. It was really made for us. I use the upper bunk since she was and will not be allowed by Papa to use it, scared she might fall down from the bunk to the floor. Squiggly worm. There's no problem with me in using the second bunk, it's fine with me. But then, because she's been sleeping with Mama and Papa, I decided to move to the lower bunk since it's less hassle if I could just lay when I want to without climbing up to the upper bunk. I got used to it.

           And now she decided to move bed. I have to go back to the upper bunk. I have to move all of my bed stuff back to the top again. I have to climb up again just to sleep. Hassle. It's fine with me really, the only problem I have is..... DI AKO ABOT NG ELECTRIC FAN.

      Sad truth.

Nasa Camayan kasi sila.

Kanina lang, pag-open ko ng FB accoount ko, nakita kong may tagged photo ako. Although yes, I anticipated na may tagged photo ako, stunned pa din ako na ito pala yung bubulaga sakin. A picture of Be Careful With My Heart cast going inside Ocean Ad to watch the sea lions daw. 

This came from Racquel. Ammiel's anak-anakan/classmate/tropa/ my friend too/ ading. She works there. Her mummy actually. She's there for her OJT. Sabi don sa isang episode, maga-outing sila (BCWMH cast) sa Subic. Sa sobrang dami ng beaches dito sa Subic, from SBMA to Sta. Cruz(dulo ng Zambales) matatagpuan ng beach, di ko inaasahan na sa Camayan Beach sila. Maganda nga don. May mga unggoy. Nanenok nga yung isang loaf ng tinapay nila Ammiel don nung nagswimming sila. Maganda. Sobrang ganda and malayo sa polusyon. SBFZ kasi talaga yon, it's not the Subic. It's SBFZ. Subic Bay Freeport Zone is different from Subic. Subic is the town, while SBFZ is not. Zambalenos knows that. Sobrang maintained yung SBFZ. Sper implemented yung policies kaya maganda don. Anyway, we went there. Malapit sa Ocean Ad. Don sa parking lot may mga fishes na pwedeng pakainin. As in dagat na pagdating. 

Maganda don. Actually, sa lahat naman ng beaches ng Zambales magaganda. May mga hindi pa nadidiscover at hindi pa nadidevelop. 

Going back, nainggit ako. They're so near yet so far. Tatlong ride lang malapit na oh! As  in malapit lang! Pwedeng pwedeng puntahan kaso late ko na nalaman. While watching, parati ko sinasabi, "waaaaah, nasa camayan sila!" Naiinggit lang talaga ako kay Kelkel. T_T

Then sabi niya, hindi niya nga din malapitan. Sabi ko OK lang. parehas kami :D haha.
Mas bagay sa kanya yung  'they're do near yet so far.' Hindi niya kasi malapitan kasi nga empleyado din siya don. Busy siya. hahaha. 

Pero nakakatuwa kasi nakakaabot sila ng Camayan. Pride yon! 

In an Orphanage

Maliagaya Home Orphanage. 970 Capt. Samano St. Area A, Camarin Caloocan City. Full address.

Tama. Sa orphanage nga ako lumaki. Sa orphanage ako nagkaisip. Sa orphanage ako nakatira. Sa orphanage ako kumakain. Sa orphanage, maraming bata. Maraming kalaro. Tama. Doon nga. Ngunit hindi ibig sabihin na ako'y ampon. Magulo? Oo. Magulo. Magulong masaya. 

Mahirap nga sigurong isipin na ang batang nakatira sa ampunan ay hindi talaga ampon. Kalimitan kasi lahat ng batang nasa ampunan ay ampon. Ngunit hindi ako isa sa kanila. Kami. Hindi kami kabilang sa kanila. Kami ay mga tunay na anak ng Director ng Ampunan. Si mama at papa. Sila ang nagsilbing mga magulang sa mga batang naandon sa ampunan. Marami kaming mga kapatid, not biologically, but technically.

Apat kaming magkakapatid. Pero si Bunso, she never experienced living like an orphan. Pasara na kasi ang orphanage non nung pinanganak siya. Hindi na niya na-experience ang mga laro kasama ng napakaraming mga kuya at ate.  

I remember, simula bata hanggang sa grade schooler ako, natutulog ako sa kwarto naming family. Nakahiwalay ang room namin sa room ng mga bata. May sarili kaming bathroom, sala, bedroom sa loob ng malaking bahay bukod sa mga bathroom, bedroom at sala ng mga ampon. Starting grade 4 ako, inilbas na ako ng room namin. Ang room namin ni Kuya ay room na ng mga bata. sa boys room siya, sa 2nd floor, sa girls room naman ako sa 1st floor, katabi ng room namin talaga. Hindi ko alam bakit nila ginawa yon. 

Kapag lumalapit na ang season ng Christmas at New Year, may mga pumupunta ng orphanage para magconduct ng program. Mga bisita as we call them. They are mostly mga college students na mas gustong magkaroon ng Christmas party kasama yung mga bata kesa sa magparty sila na sila-sila lang. Kadalasan, kasama kami. Even though that party is intended for the orphans lang. Kasama kami. Yung mga bisita usually asks,  "where are your parents? Why are you here?" Nagugulat silang sinasagot naming nasa ampunan din yung mga parents namin and because it is where we live. Actually, napapa-nganga na lang sila tapos minsan hindi kami sinasama sa mga games o kaya sa ibang mga activities nila for the kids. Okay lang, pero sa loob loob, sana kasama din kami. Bata pa kami non e.Dahil Christmas nga kapag may ganon, kalimitang nalulunod kami sa mga gifts. New toys. Lots of food. Christmas Money galing kila Lolo and mga box ng clothes. ANG DAMI! Nakakalunod nga. Kaya nung lumipat kami dito sa Zambales, andami naming iniwan. Ilang balikbayan box din yung iniwan namin don sa orphanage. Kasama na yung mga favorite books ko. Gulagulanit na daw kasi kaya iniwan na. Archie Comics. Sweet Valley Series (hanggang sa magdalaga sila kumpleto), Give Yourself Goosebumps- anim ata yon, Goosebumps-ilang books din yon,encyclopedias, yung Almanac for Kids ko, mga Reader's Digest (Compilations ng mga literary pieces nila, although nadala namin yung iba) tapos halos lahat ng mga soft bound iniwan. Ayaw ko talaga, kaso hindi maiwasan. Hindi pwede. Naiyak nalang ako. 

Anyway, naalala ko din don, kapag may kailangan ang litanya ay "kuya/ ate pakuha ng tubig." Then comes my water. Mala-senyorita't senyorito kami don. But we still do chores. Just like the other kids. I learned how to wax the floor, scrub, sweep, wash dishes and clothes, and magpaligo ng aso. Sa mga chores, gumagawa kami.sa mga chores lang. Kaya nung kami nalang sa sarili naming bahay, nahirapan kami. Nasanay kasing may ibang kumikilos para samin kaya ayon. Hirap sa gawain. 

Minsan kapag may issues sila about sa Orphanage, o kaya naman kailangan pag-usapan, nakukulong kami sa kwarto. Kaming magkakapatid. Di kami pwede makinig, di kami involved, at di kami mai-involve. Although magkakasama kami sa iisang bahay, ang issues nila y di kami kasama. May division pa din naman. 

Kapag sunday, we go malling. Sa mall lang, kain don, tapos tambay. Kami lang family. Minsan kasama mga bata. Pero madalas, kami lang. May mga picnics kami. Experienced a lot of that. We also had a picture na may uniform kami and we went to Luneta and QC Circle. It was a lot of fun kasi maraming mga bantay. Maraming nau-uto. "kuya let's go there!" "Ate, don tayo!" Kaya nakakapunta sa malayo kasi may bantay.

Twice din na nakapanood ng game ng San Miguel sa PBA. Sila lang pala. Not me. Nung una, may bulutong ata ako kaya hindi ako pinasama. Nung pangalawa, sinundo kami sa bahay. Pumunta muna kami sa bahay nila ate Cathy Uichico, wife of Jong Uichico. Friends kasi sila ni Lolo and they sponsor the orphanage,too. Pinakain muna kami then, ayun na. We  went to the game. A memory worth remembering pero ang natatandaan ko lang don, yung kinain namin, hotdog, then maganda yung bathroom nila, sigaw lang kami ng sigaw ng "defense". Then laughs and then get tired. Pagkabata. 

Nung nag-kinder si Kuya kasama ako sa klase niya. Saling kitkit. Pero dahil saling kitkit ako, hindi ako masyado sa mga discussions nila. More on upo and kain lang ginagawa ko. At dahil nga nasa orphanage kami, hindi sila papa ang naghahatid sundo samin, Binabantayan kami nila Kuya. Salit-salit sila. Hindi ko nga lang alam kung may schedule talaga sila, kasi salit-salit sila. Pero nung ako na yung nag-kinder sa St.Luke's hatid sundo na kami, pero dahil kasi nagtuturo don si Mama. Pero minsan sila Kuya pa din yung kasama namin. Nung si Ammiel na yung nag-kinder, hindi pa din sila papa yung naghahatid-sundo samin. Sila kuya pa din. Bantay-sarado.Trabaho ata nila yon. Maghatid-sundo samin. 

Hindi kami nawawalan ng kalaro doon. Halos hanggang gabi naglalaro kami. Pero never akong nakalabas ng compound, unless papasok sa school. Hindi ko din naranasan na maggala. Nung pasarado na yung Orphanage, don ko nasimulang maggala. Pagtapos ng klase tambay sa mall o kaya naman sa park with classmates.Hindi ko din naranasan na mangaroling. Hindi kami nangangaroling. Hindi kami pinapalabas. Kahit na andami naming mapapangarolingan kapag nangaroling kami. Delikado kasi. Paglabas ng bahay, kalsada agad. Yung mga alaga nga naming aso kapag lumalabas nasasagasaan, kami pa kaya. 

I could go on and on about my childhood pero sobrang haba na neto. 

Ang sarap balik-balikan yung mga pangyayari nung kabataan. Lalo na kung yung kabataan mo e hindi ordinaryo. Sobrang hindi ordinaryo.

love for Singkit.

When I was still in my gradeschool, they always tell us that if we don't have crushes we're not girls. My classmates would talk about who they have a crush on in our school and so on and so forth, but I, I don't find them interesting. I don't know why it's just like that. Palagi ko yon iniisip but then, I had a crush on someone, my first ever crush, Billy Gilman. He's a child singer and I always love to hear him sing. I am always tuned in to MYX, and MTV hoping I could always see and ear him. That is how I got glued on MTV and even taught my boy bestfriend about MYX, (nung kelan ko lang nalaman na sakin pala natutunan ni Don ang makinig sa music and manuod ng mga MV's.) Up till college, he was still my crush.

Then, I understood myself. I don't get easily get attracted to boys. Lalo na yung mga gwapo nga, puro pa-cute lang naman tapos kakanta daw sa mga mall shows pero kahit sana medyo mailapit yung tono sa katotohanan hindi magawa, o kaya naman sasayaw tapos masasabi mo, "Buti nalang gwapo siya."
Marami kasing mga naglalabasang ganon ngayon e.

Pero kahit choosy ako (over! crush lang choosy pa) e bakit? I have standards. haha.... back to reality, kahit choosy ako, marami ako crush. ayiiiiiie :D


Una na si Matteo Guidicelli. Well, oo hindi siya singkit, pero kasi ewan ko, ang gwapo niya kasi ^_^ sige na pagbigyan. Sadyang gwapo lang talaga tong taong to. :))

Sunod tong dalawang to. Si JR at JB, tuwang tuwa kasi ako sa kanila nung sa DreamHigh2 sila. Ayan na singkit na. 

Then si Choi Minho. Nawi-wirduhan nga sa kanya si Iyeng kasi weird daw ngiti niya, but I find it cute because he is. Yup siya si Tae Joon sa To the Beautiful you. Girlcrush ko din kasama niya don. Si Sulli ng F(x). :D

and one of the longest na din itong si Kao Jirayu Laongmanee, Thai Actor. 

First saw him in Suckseed, then pati yung miniseries nila ni Nat Nauljam naghanap talaga ako ng may subtitle. Ammiel told me may movie daw siya na bading daw siya, kaya nga ba hindi ko na hinanap yon kasi masasaktan lang ako. HAHAHA, Kaya yung Se7en nalang. 

sa sobrang pagkaka-crush ko sa kanya, ginawa ko siyang wallpaper ng Ubuntu account ko hanggang sa tuluyang i-un-install ni Ammiel yung Ubuntu. 

He's also my phone's wallpaper for a very long time. 

and my desktop's background is still him. I so crush him that much. :D chaaar!

Magaling din kasi siya maggitara. Yung sa pepsi specials nila noon pinapanood ko din sa Youtube. Kaya tumataas yung bill ng kuryente namin ay dahil sa kanya :D 

Kang Min Hyuk. CNBLUE's drummer. Siya yung kapag makikita ko napapatili ako. Haha. Pramis. Napapatili ako sa lalaking to. Bukod sa sobrang singkit ng mga mata niya, ang gwapo niya pa din, magaling magdrums, maganda din boses. Pinagpala!

ginagawa ko ding desktop background tong si Kang Min Hyuk e. Pati wallpaper sa phone ko, kaso sa sobrang gwapo niya, nadelete ko pictures niya. Ayun, talo. 

Madalas, nung hindi ko pa nadedelete yung mga pictures niya sa phone ko non, tinititigan ko siya. Totoo. Ewan ko kung bakit. Pero hindi ako yung tipong magpapakaloko, dahil sa mga crush. Crush lang sila, di sila yung pag-ibig. :D 

Basta kasi singkit, naattract ako. Gusto ko singkit. Mga maliliit na mata na kapag ngumingiti nawawala. 

Marami man akong crush pero walang makakatalo sa mga lalaki kong ito. Sobrang gwapo nila. Hindi sila crush lang, mahal ko na sila. Mahal na mahal.

Mga anak kong si Reau at Rouis.

Si kuya Reaubot, ang batang mahirap pagpaalaman. Mahirap makipaghiwalay. 

Minsan ayaw na magkiss kay Ninang kapag magbaba-bye na si Ninang. 

 mga kengkoy at super kulit. 

Ang Kuya Reau at Ading Ouis ko, wag lang sanang lalaking makakalimutang ang Diyos, naku. Mga inaanak kong super kulit at singkit.

So, yesterday we went to the pool after ng church service namin. Kahit na pagod at kung ano-anong nangyari samin. Masaya. One of the reasons is, marami kami. Hindi na kami yung usual na kami-kami lang. Lumalaki ang grupo. May mga nadadagdag. at marami ang naligaw ng landas. Nakakalungkot. We did what we think could help them, it's up to them now. Well, dahil hindi kami  nagdala ng digicam, wala sakin ang mga pictures at hindi ko pa ma-upload. Seyeng uleyt.May pagkababy-sitter nga lang ang peg ko don pero ayos lang. That's what being an ATE is for. May kasamang 10 month old baby Zeg, 1 year old Mai-mai, 3 girls, 5 young ladies, 2 ladies, 5 young men, and 2 couples. We had a lot of fun.  

So because Tita Emilia and Vienna paid us a visit, nahuli kami pumunta. They were all wet and swimming when we got there. Don kami sa usual place namin, COUNTRY COTTAGE RESORT. Malaki, malinis, malapit. Madaling lakarin. At malamang sa malamang, sinimulan na naman akong basain ni Dave kahit wala pa talagang balak maligo. Una sa 6 ft.,sunod sa may 8 ft, at sa 8ft ulet. Ang hilig ng batang yun mandamay sa mga talon talon niya sa pool at parating ako yung dinadamay niya. Pero nakakatuwa kasi nagiging laughtrip pagkatapos. Hindi din naman kami nangitim kahit na simula tanghali kaming nandoon, dahil MAKULIMLIM ang panahon! Haha. Ang sarap maligo kasi walang iisiiping araw na magpapaitim. E di kami, babad to the max. Hindi mainit ang panahon pero mainit ang tubig. Masarap magbabad. 

Sobrang dami ng kulitan, at isa na doon ay ang magtatatalon sa 8 ft kahit hindi naman marunong lumangoy. Malalakas loob magtatatalon sa malalim na part kasi ba naman marami silang magsasagip. Si Shinshin na dati na ring muntik malunod ng dahil kay Dave enjoy na enjoy din. Ang e-epic ng mga memories don sa resort na yon. 

Dahil malapit nga ang resort, nilakad namin ang pauwi. Kahit medyo padilim na go lang. Nakakatuwa. Kami lang kasing malalaki na yung naglakad, nauna na yung mga couple, yung mga bata at yung tatlong young lady namin. Mahirap na kapag sumabay pa sila samin, we can't risk their safety para lang makasabay sila samin sa paglalakad. Nakakatuwa din na nahahawa ang mga youth samin. They are now thinking of welfare of each other na. Katulad ng i-suggest nilang pasakayin nalang yung mga bata kesa sa maglakad. At nung naglalakad na kami, nung sabihin kong maging alert ang boys lalo na sa mga pwedeng mambastos along the way. They are learning to take care of those people with them. dahil 5 boys and 5 girls kaming naglakad, yung mga boys, mga nasa likod, and nasa gilid, para medyo iwas sa disgrasya at pambabastos ng mga pwedeng mambastos sa dadaanan namin. 

Si Kazuo din, bago palang, 3 sundays palang ata namin siyang nakakasama. Siya ang ininterview  ko. Nakakatuwa. 

Nawa'y kung ano meron kami ngayon, maipasa sa mga susunod naming henerasyon. 

Yung ang dami-dami kong gustong i-blog kaso tinatamad akong maghalungkat ng mga thoughts ko para i-organize lahat ng yon.

Sabi ni Mama, "Baka naman sila normal at tayo ang abnormal."

Baka nga. Baka nga talaga. Marami kasing tao sa aming paligid ang namamangha sa kung anong meron kami sa pamilya. Hindi nila maarok ang mga prinsipyo at mga kaisipang meron ang bawat isa sa amin. UNA.Sa aming magkakapatid. Bakit daw kami sobrang close? Pano kami nagawang sobrang close nila Mama. Anong pagpapalaki ginawa nila para maging kami, kami. Sa totoo lang, hindi ko din alam. Basta ganto na kami. Kung ano man meron kami, kakaiba. Nung debut ko non, natuwa silang lahat. Ang nag-organize, si Kuya. Ang sa 18 roses ko, puro mga barkada, hindi ko, NILA. Puro mga kaibigan ni Kuya at Ammiel. Bakit? Kasi sila din yung mga ka-close ko. Naging 19 pa nga yon kasi pinagpilitan nung isang friend ni kuya, sarili niyang isama siya sa 18 roses kahit sobra na talaga. Kahit yung flower nalang sa labas yung kinuha niya OK lang daw sa kanya.Kung sino mga tropa ng mga kapatid ko, sila din mga tropa ko. Ganon din yung mga akin, sa kanila. Kahit na kami-kami lang lumalabas at naggagala OK lang samin. Inaabot pa kami ng madaling araw, kahit kasama namin si Bunso. Kuntento na kami-kami lang. Sweet no?
PANGALAWA. Yung passion namin to be used by God. From the head of the family up to the littlelest one. We're all in the ministry. Karamihan ng mga Pastor na nakilala ko, ayaw nila pumasok mga anak nila sa BibleSchool, yung iba naman gusto nila na nasa ministry mga anak nila kaso hindi nila mapasama sa ministry, sa kaso namin, kami yung naghahangad pumasok sa BibleSchool at kami ang mga nagkukusang sumama sa mga ministry na meron kami. Ewan ko ulit bakit. Kasi ganon talaga kami. Ganon kami lumaki. Minsan naiisip ko, may bearing kaya yung pag-stay namin sa ampunan noon kaya kami ganito ngayon?
PANGATLO. Yung sila Papa towards us, and us (magkakapatid) towards our parents. Sabi nila liberal daw. Pano, di nila maintindihan mga prinsipyo ng parents ko patungkol samin. Nakakalabas kasi ako non ng bahay kahit alanganing oras, basta kilala nila papa ang mga kasama ko. At si Kuya lang naman ang parati ko nong kasama. Kahit na madaling araw na kami umuwi. Ang gawain naman kasi namin ay magkwento ng magkwento ng lahat ng mga nangyari samin at hindi kami nakakalimot na mag-update ng kung nasaan man kami. At hindi din naman kasi ako lumalabas ng hindi ko kasama si Kuya o kaya si Ading. Mas gusto ko pa sila kasama kesa sa iba. No dull moments. :D Cool daw ng parents ko. E ano magagawa ko? Cool talaga sila. Wala na ako magagawa don kahit hindi ko maarok kung pano. Basta ganon na sila.
Pang-ilan na ba? Ahh PANG-APAT. May meaning kung bakit puro sa letter "A" ang start ng pangalan namin at kung bakit nage-end sa "EL" Other entry to kung bakit.
PANGLIMA. They always tell us not to havae grudges sa mga taong kung ano anong ginagawa sa amin. Once, nagkaroon ng matinding sagupaan between two tribes and it made a total chaos, not only to the two tirbes but also to the other tribes around them. Kahit na kung ano anong pinagsasabing masasakit nung tribe2 sa tribe1, still sinabi ng leader ng tribe1 na wag maghold ng grudge sa tribe2. Dapat daw panatilihin ang respect para sa tribe2 kahit na hindi na sila karespe-respeto. Ganon parati ang ginagawa ng tribe1.

Ganon talaga yon. Enemies will use every strategy and scheme to make a family that is oh so tight fall down. But YOU CAN'T KEEP A BLESSED MAN DOWN.

There are a lot of things I thank God for my family. No space and words in this blog is enought to tell and to share how is my family. It is better if you'll be a part. So, wanna join?

Nothing could put us down.

My Mom is a Woman of WIsdom

            "Learn to do two things at the same time.That's what you'll call 'dove-tailing'"

            "One word is enough for a wise man. Two for a dog. Three for a monkey."

            "Everything has it's place, and everything in it's place."

"If you can't lessen the garbage, at least lessen it's size."

"Kapag tinanong ka kung kamusta na Christian Life mo at OK lang ang sagot mo, nako, matakot ka na. Ibig sabihin, hindi ka pinagkakaabalahan ng kaaway."

"When you want to learn, you have to overcome the pain, the hurt. That's the obstacles in learning."

"You also have to say no, Hindi lahat OO. Hindi lahat bigay"

 These were SOME of the lines of my mother for us. Last March 22, 2013, we attended Bunso's graduation  ceremony. Since their school has an elementary and a secondary level, it took almost 5 hours till the end. It was so tiresome being there with nothing to do but to stare at the kids doing different kinds of stuff and running in front for picture taking. For that lengthy hour we spent there, I've learned and realize fully. My Mom is a Woman of Wisdom and everyone around her knows and experiences that.

The valedictorian of the secondary level, specially mentioned Mama in her speech. "I could never forget a line from the thousands of quotable quotes of Teacher Cleo, 'One Word is enough for a wise man.' the one she's always telling us..." Forgot the other lines from her. Then a smile crept in. And the speech went on. That simple mention simply proves how she could touch and be a blessing for the people around her. She could always be remembered from the lines she's giving them. Though it was not intended to be a quotable quote for her. Her words strike through them. Having the opportunity to be one of her students in her Physics class when I was still in High School, I had experienced her outside the terms of our house and being her daughter. Although yeah, I could always be teased inside our classroom, but I am not exempted from the class punishments. assignments, and sorts. I did not get any special treatments.It's still OK.

I don't know where she's getting all of those words. It's not only from her quotable quotes. It's also on how she handles every situation coming her way - good or bad. I always marvel at how she's dealing with things. I cold always find myself asking me, "How did she do that?" "Why didn't I think of that?" "How did she know that it will be the best." "Oo nga no?" sorts of stuff.

Most of the time, even if I'm just walking, somebody would say they had been taught by my mom and they'll say one of the quotes from Mama that they remembered. It's shocking, at the same time overwhelming.
I may not have a lot, but I have a mother that's full of wisdom. One that could lead me to where I should be, on where I belong.

Ze People I zuper Mizs. :)

I had soo much fun with that graduation ceremony. Even though that is not MY graduation ceremony. :D The reason is...... I GET TO HANG WITH THE PEOPLE I SUUUUUPER MISS IN THE WHOOOOLE WIDE WORLD.

My people in the PMI. Yeap, they are my people, the people I super miss. Did I tell you that already? Ooopsie, my bad. It had been two years since the last time I've been with them. We have sooo much catching up to do and the whole day was not enough.We got there 4 in the morning. None of them were awake yet, so I COULD WAKE THEM UP AND SEE THEIR MORNING FACES AGAIN. HAHA.
Imagine, those faces are the same faces I get to always see for the two years I'm there.

Morning bell was heard and then their screams. I could not forget their smiling and shocked faces when they saw me. IT WAS EPIC. >:O  Priceless. And all I could do is to laugh at them, and hug all of them. They did not know I'm coming. so yeah, they're shocked.


All those screams and laughter. Haaaaay. Girls.



Wem, and Alyssa. Both 3rd year on the coming sem, and the both extreme. Wem, is extremely loud; Aly is extremely eye-shut. HAHA. New Term. That is only for Aly, they always tell her to open her eyes. Teased for always look like sleeping.

My Anak, Wilmary and Sister, Alyssa. 

She's very fun. It was like she's up to something wicked all the time. Ahhh, my adopted daughter. She's actually my niece for her mom's my sister. :D 

Our bunso, in my ALyKaDHeen Family. Aly, Lyka, Adhee, and Dhin. ALYKADHEEN. 

Both super makulit. 

I got the chance to see my batchmates again. Although the time's soooo not my friend that time. Still, Seeing them was a joy. Here's Jen. Ang Araw ng Gabi. We often tease her with Mark. They are batches-make-couples-for-teasing. Yeah, we tease them they're lovers even though they're really not. Issues. :D 

I'll talk to her and then sing for her, "Araw, Gabi, nasa isip ka. Napapanaginip ka...."

Kakulit talaga ng batang to. She's not running out of questions and jokes, and stories. She could talk about everything and anything. One of the things I miss. Talk to Wem. 

Given. Another sister from another family. She was like the most kikay person I've ever met. I first saw her wearing pink all over, From the bag, to the phone, to clothes, shoes. earrings. Anything. Naughty and sweet in her own special way. I still have the mini baby bottle she gave me with my picture and someone I don't want to mention, inside. She's also the sweetest kikay ever. Maarte for first glance, but sweet till the end.


Kharla. a young people from the last church I've handled before going out of the school.  Maingay and Makulit. Bata. Missed. She's one of the few people I get to be soo really close from that church. I did not expect she'll enter PMI, too :D HAHA

Gebin and Kharla. 

Ading. Pinalayas na ng school si Ading, I mean sent out for practicum. She was like, one of the most super close and best friend slash sister. We talk about almost everything. It was like you we know almost all about each other. Secrets and loves. I miss talking to her. Ever since, I went out, our communication became damned. We seldom talk. She's not answering my phone calls. She became very busy. I became very busy, too. 

y

Joebellita. 

I really miss this girl. Labasan ng kung ano anong kawirduhan at ng kung ano anong kagagawan yang si Ading. She's my creative partner. And what a very creative girl she truly is. Beautiful, not only outside, but also her works. Super miss.

Si Kharla, halos lahat ng pictures nandon sya. 

and Kharla made singit again in my picture with kuya Wowie. One of the boys I am super close with. Kasama ko kasi siya sa Creative Team. My kuyang EMO. :D yeap. He's EMO. He is. kasama sa mga puyatan at sa mga decorate decorate ng mga kung ano ano sa mga event ng PMI. simula nung nawala ako, wala na din Creative team, I think. Nakakamiss yung mga ganon kaso ayon yung mga gustong gusto ko gawin. 

Towering kuya Louie. The Philosopher, in Filipino, PILOSOPO. Matalinong nasa lugar. 

Mommy Dhine, with Dad on the background. Sumisingit singit pa si Dad Angel e :D 

Si kuya Ker. si Ogor. bakit ogor? ewan. Nung sa klase namin ng Philippine Lit. Alam ko don nagsimula yon. :D Alam halos lahat ng instruments, wag lang pakantahin :D 

Si Waffle, Teedee, Kharlita. 

dahil hindi kami nakapagpapicture nung nasa labas kami, nagpicture kami sa loob :D

the not so mean, MEAN :D 

Haay FAMILY :D 

Here's Master Pianist Emman Virata, Ogor and ate MEAN. Choir Buddies :D mga kasama sa choir kasi 

Mayjean at the back, ate Mean's little sister. The epic Mayjean :D met her at last :D 

dunno why we're like that :D MOMENTS

mommy Mani, that is now ATE mani :D the buddy in almost everything 

SISTERS! lovelovelove

Bestfriend. My Potsi. My Epic friend POTSI. Yung mga tambay tambay lang sa PETRON. we could talk all day long. di kami nauubusan ng pag-uusapan e. 

My Nanahdear. parating kasulatan. 

Si Julie Pearl, lahat napapag-usapan namin. simple talks with her will accompany you all day. di siya ganon kadaldal. kaming dalawa yung madaldal. 

NAH! Magpractice ka na! my line for her always. Parati kasi siya nagsasabi na hindi na mahirap yung mga piano piece niya e. 

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