Rats and Rodents.

I don't know why I hate rodents actually. Ever since, I have this icky feeling whenever they're near. I don't want to see one, I don't want to encounter one. I just don't like rodents. Even rabbits or hamsters. Any kind of rodents. Eew! Yuck!
When we were still in our old house, Kuya played a trick with me. While I was in our kitchen getting something to drink, he threw a camote at me shouting, "Dang, daga!" I panicked thinking it was really a rat. I cried a lot. Of course I got frightened while he's laughing his heart out. Because of that incident, they would always pull trick on me. Another one is, when we are fixing our other house. Because it was unhabited for many years, unlikable creatures were there. Mouses. Cockroaches. In short, PESTS! We were there to clean up but it turned out bad. Since, papa managed to get rid of the lives of those pests, it was Kuya and Ammiel's turn to get rid of their bodies. Dead Bodies. They knew I don't like those pests even if it's not breathing or dead already but they would sway the bodies of those pests in front of me. the worst is, they would even try to throw it at me. GROSS! That was long until they saw tears coming out of my eyes. they always do that.
Sometimes, our cats would catch mice and leave the struggling-for-life mice there where they got tired of playing at them. On the following day, they (mama or anyone in the house) would find the body and let me find it before burying. Another is, I went to Mama's school and paved my way through Subic Wet And Dry market. As I was walking, a rat as big as cat crossed my way. I got so terrified I never went that way again.  Just recently, while I was washing the dishes that evening I saw a mice ran that made me scream. So mama asked what it is and I said it's a mice. My younger siblings heard my answer and plotted to scare me off again. They threw things that would seem like a mouse. they know I cant leave my post, I wasn't finished with the dishes yet. I got bullied by my younger siblings right there and then. They're laughing while I'm terrified.


I don't like Rats and rodents and any kind. When I will have my own house, I will make sure there will be no rats and any kind in there. I will not allow.

Just when I had the chance to watch where no one will scold me and would sneak on what I'm doing, I don't have the feelings to watch it. What's happening?

command responsibility

As I was studying the text, I've encountered "The Father of Sin: Adam". The sinful nature came from Adam. But then, curiosity came out and asked Papa about it. 

"Why is it that Adam got to be blamed even if it was really Eve who sinned? She's the one who picked and ate the fruit first.She's the one who fell for the scheme. How come it's Adam?"

"Command Responsibility. It's Adam's responsibility to take care of everything going on in the garden. So it's Adam's responsibility to get the blame.He's the man. He gets he blame."

Command Responsibility.The one superior gets the blame whatever happens. 

So because Adam is the man and the superior over Eve, he gets the blame that up till now he's the one blaming for the condemnation of man. My thoughts to become somehow a man ended. I finally and absolutely don't want to become a man. Reality, I have thoughts that I should be a man. I would like to become a boy somehow. But, no matter what and whenever I weight things between becoming a man or a woman, I say I still would want and still would want to wear flat shoes and high-heeled shoes than sneakers and rubber shoes. I couldn't figure myself becoming like Charice Pempengco. NEVER! ELK! YUCK! UGH! 

Adding what I had learned from that command responsibility, I'm glad I'm a girl! :D

Missing Brother

Last Thursday, he left.He left nothing, not even a word, not even a goodbye. Although knowing where he will go and what might happen and what to expect when he came back, still, sadness took place. I still would want to spend the craziest things with him. The random flushes of weirdness, and the late night strolls. The talks, the laughters, the sudden 'asaran' and the sharing of random ideas and thoughts. It will took a very long  while before doing all of that again.

Those times when we will go to Olongapo to watch gigs and concerts. He never missed Iyeng's recognition ceremony. He will always be available when we will say "let's go to Gapo" then we'll come home in the middle of the night even though we're not sure if we'll still have a ride home. His constant check on my tempo when I'm on my drums practice.He's always at my side.

He will always be missed.

I'm glad about his decision. I've prepared myself of not seeing him every single day and the fact that he will not be at my side anymore. I've accepted that. I've accepted that he will not be with me in every 'gala' and in every fun moments we'll create. I know it's the fruits of his faith. I'm happy he's growing and I'm looking forward for his stories same as mine when I'm in there.


Soon, he'll experience something bigger and grander. I'm looking forward of seeing him as a more matured man. I love him. He will always be our Bunso Sakto, eventhough he'd outgrown me.

Though I will surely miss our randomness. 

Bed Moving

          Finally, she moved bed. I can't say it's 'my' room anymore. Bunso's sleeping in my room now, no, it's our room already. It's a bit of a mixed emotions really. Although yes, we always tease her to move bed since she's sleeping between Mama and Papa in their room. She's growing fast and she's squeezing herself there. Mama and Papa's complaining they're getting crowded. It's fine for me. I mean, I'm glad she finally had the courage to sleep alone on a bed. She tried once and woke at the middle of the night and squeezed herself between Mama and Papa, again.

            We have double-decked bed in our room. It was really made for us. I use the upper bunk since she was and will not be allowed by Papa to use it, scared she might fall down from the bunk to the floor. Squiggly worm. There's no problem with me in using the second bunk, it's fine with me. But then, because she's been sleeping with Mama and Papa, I decided to move to the lower bunk since it's less hassle if I could just lay when I want to without climbing up to the upper bunk. I got used to it.

           And now she decided to move bed. I have to go back to the upper bunk. I have to move all of my bed stuff back to the top again. I have to climb up again just to sleep. Hassle. It's fine with me really, the only problem I have is..... DI AKO ABOT NG ELECTRIC FAN.

      Sad truth.

Nasa Camayan kasi sila.

Kanina lang, pag-open ko ng FB accoount ko, nakita kong may tagged photo ako. Although yes, I anticipated na may tagged photo ako, stunned pa din ako na ito pala yung bubulaga sakin. A picture of Be Careful With My Heart cast going inside Ocean Ad to watch the sea lions daw. 

This came from Racquel. Ammiel's anak-anakan/classmate/tropa/ my friend too/ ading. She works there. Her mummy actually. She's there for her OJT. Sabi don sa isang episode, maga-outing sila (BCWMH cast) sa Subic. Sa sobrang dami ng beaches dito sa Subic, from SBMA to Sta. Cruz(dulo ng Zambales) matatagpuan ng beach, di ko inaasahan na sa Camayan Beach sila. Maganda nga don. May mga unggoy. Nanenok nga yung isang loaf ng tinapay nila Ammiel don nung nagswimming sila. Maganda. Sobrang ganda and malayo sa polusyon. SBFZ kasi talaga yon, it's not the Subic. It's SBFZ. Subic Bay Freeport Zone is different from Subic. Subic is the town, while SBFZ is not. Zambalenos knows that. Sobrang maintained yung SBFZ. Sper implemented yung policies kaya maganda don. Anyway, we went there. Malapit sa Ocean Ad. Don sa parking lot may mga fishes na pwedeng pakainin. As in dagat na pagdating. 

Maganda don. Actually, sa lahat naman ng beaches ng Zambales magaganda. May mga hindi pa nadidiscover at hindi pa nadidevelop. 

Going back, nainggit ako. They're so near yet so far. Tatlong ride lang malapit na oh! As  in malapit lang! Pwedeng pwedeng puntahan kaso late ko na nalaman. While watching, parati ko sinasabi, "waaaaah, nasa camayan sila!" Naiinggit lang talaga ako kay Kelkel. T_T

Then sabi niya, hindi niya nga din malapitan. Sabi ko OK lang. parehas kami :D haha.
Mas bagay sa kanya yung  'they're do near yet so far.' Hindi niya kasi malapitan kasi nga empleyado din siya don. Busy siya. hahaha. 

Pero nakakatuwa kasi nakakaabot sila ng Camayan. Pride yon! 

In an Orphanage

Maliagaya Home Orphanage. 970 Capt. Samano St. Area A, Camarin Caloocan City. Full address.

Tama. Sa orphanage nga ako lumaki. Sa orphanage ako nagkaisip. Sa orphanage ako nakatira. Sa orphanage ako kumakain. Sa orphanage, maraming bata. Maraming kalaro. Tama. Doon nga. Ngunit hindi ibig sabihin na ako'y ampon. Magulo? Oo. Magulo. Magulong masaya. 

Mahirap nga sigurong isipin na ang batang nakatira sa ampunan ay hindi talaga ampon. Kalimitan kasi lahat ng batang nasa ampunan ay ampon. Ngunit hindi ako isa sa kanila. Kami. Hindi kami kabilang sa kanila. Kami ay mga tunay na anak ng Director ng Ampunan. Si mama at papa. Sila ang nagsilbing mga magulang sa mga batang naandon sa ampunan. Marami kaming mga kapatid, not biologically, but technically.

Apat kaming magkakapatid. Pero si Bunso, she never experienced living like an orphan. Pasara na kasi ang orphanage non nung pinanganak siya. Hindi na niya na-experience ang mga laro kasama ng napakaraming mga kuya at ate.  

I remember, simula bata hanggang sa grade schooler ako, natutulog ako sa kwarto naming family. Nakahiwalay ang room namin sa room ng mga bata. May sarili kaming bathroom, sala, bedroom sa loob ng malaking bahay bukod sa mga bathroom, bedroom at sala ng mga ampon. Starting grade 4 ako, inilbas na ako ng room namin. Ang room namin ni Kuya ay room na ng mga bata. sa boys room siya, sa 2nd floor, sa girls room naman ako sa 1st floor, katabi ng room namin talaga. Hindi ko alam bakit nila ginawa yon. 

Kapag lumalapit na ang season ng Christmas at New Year, may mga pumupunta ng orphanage para magconduct ng program. Mga bisita as we call them. They are mostly mga college students na mas gustong magkaroon ng Christmas party kasama yung mga bata kesa sa magparty sila na sila-sila lang. Kadalasan, kasama kami. Even though that party is intended for the orphans lang. Kasama kami. Yung mga bisita usually asks,  "where are your parents? Why are you here?" Nagugulat silang sinasagot naming nasa ampunan din yung mga parents namin and because it is where we live. Actually, napapa-nganga na lang sila tapos minsan hindi kami sinasama sa mga games o kaya sa ibang mga activities nila for the kids. Okay lang, pero sa loob loob, sana kasama din kami. Bata pa kami non e.Dahil Christmas nga kapag may ganon, kalimitang nalulunod kami sa mga gifts. New toys. Lots of food. Christmas Money galing kila Lolo and mga box ng clothes. ANG DAMI! Nakakalunod nga. Kaya nung lumipat kami dito sa Zambales, andami naming iniwan. Ilang balikbayan box din yung iniwan namin don sa orphanage. Kasama na yung mga favorite books ko. Gulagulanit na daw kasi kaya iniwan na. Archie Comics. Sweet Valley Series (hanggang sa magdalaga sila kumpleto), Give Yourself Goosebumps- anim ata yon, Goosebumps-ilang books din yon,encyclopedias, yung Almanac for Kids ko, mga Reader's Digest (Compilations ng mga literary pieces nila, although nadala namin yung iba) tapos halos lahat ng mga soft bound iniwan. Ayaw ko talaga, kaso hindi maiwasan. Hindi pwede. Naiyak nalang ako. 

Anyway, naalala ko din don, kapag may kailangan ang litanya ay "kuya/ ate pakuha ng tubig." Then comes my water. Mala-senyorita't senyorito kami don. But we still do chores. Just like the other kids. I learned how to wax the floor, scrub, sweep, wash dishes and clothes, and magpaligo ng aso. Sa mga chores, gumagawa kami.sa mga chores lang. Kaya nung kami nalang sa sarili naming bahay, nahirapan kami. Nasanay kasing may ibang kumikilos para samin kaya ayon. Hirap sa gawain. 

Minsan kapag may issues sila about sa Orphanage, o kaya naman kailangan pag-usapan, nakukulong kami sa kwarto. Kaming magkakapatid. Di kami pwede makinig, di kami involved, at di kami mai-involve. Although magkakasama kami sa iisang bahay, ang issues nila y di kami kasama. May division pa din naman. 

Kapag sunday, we go malling. Sa mall lang, kain don, tapos tambay. Kami lang family. Minsan kasama mga bata. Pero madalas, kami lang. May mga picnics kami. Experienced a lot of that. We also had a picture na may uniform kami and we went to Luneta and QC Circle. It was a lot of fun kasi maraming mga bantay. Maraming nau-uto. "kuya let's go there!" "Ate, don tayo!" Kaya nakakapunta sa malayo kasi may bantay.

Twice din na nakapanood ng game ng San Miguel sa PBA. Sila lang pala. Not me. Nung una, may bulutong ata ako kaya hindi ako pinasama. Nung pangalawa, sinundo kami sa bahay. Pumunta muna kami sa bahay nila ate Cathy Uichico, wife of Jong Uichico. Friends kasi sila ni Lolo and they sponsor the orphanage,too. Pinakain muna kami then, ayun na. We  went to the game. A memory worth remembering pero ang natatandaan ko lang don, yung kinain namin, hotdog, then maganda yung bathroom nila, sigaw lang kami ng sigaw ng "defense". Then laughs and then get tired. Pagkabata. 

Nung nag-kinder si Kuya kasama ako sa klase niya. Saling kitkit. Pero dahil saling kitkit ako, hindi ako masyado sa mga discussions nila. More on upo and kain lang ginagawa ko. At dahil nga nasa orphanage kami, hindi sila papa ang naghahatid sundo samin, Binabantayan kami nila Kuya. Salit-salit sila. Hindi ko nga lang alam kung may schedule talaga sila, kasi salit-salit sila. Pero nung ako na yung nag-kinder sa St.Luke's hatid sundo na kami, pero dahil kasi nagtuturo don si Mama. Pero minsan sila Kuya pa din yung kasama namin. Nung si Ammiel na yung nag-kinder, hindi pa din sila papa yung naghahatid-sundo samin. Sila kuya pa din. Bantay-sarado.Trabaho ata nila yon. Maghatid-sundo samin. 

Hindi kami nawawalan ng kalaro doon. Halos hanggang gabi naglalaro kami. Pero never akong nakalabas ng compound, unless papasok sa school. Hindi ko din naranasan na maggala. Nung pasarado na yung Orphanage, don ko nasimulang maggala. Pagtapos ng klase tambay sa mall o kaya naman sa park with classmates.Hindi ko din naranasan na mangaroling. Hindi kami nangangaroling. Hindi kami pinapalabas. Kahit na andami naming mapapangarolingan kapag nangaroling kami. Delikado kasi. Paglabas ng bahay, kalsada agad. Yung mga alaga nga naming aso kapag lumalabas nasasagasaan, kami pa kaya. 

I could go on and on about my childhood pero sobrang haba na neto. 

Ang sarap balik-balikan yung mga pangyayari nung kabataan. Lalo na kung yung kabataan mo e hindi ordinaryo. Sobrang hindi ordinaryo.